For those of you great fans that are usually too classy to stoop to the level of mindless conference-bashing, this post is for you. After reading these points and examples, you will have a good idea how to start writing your own stupid conference-bashing comments. Believe me, there are many more that could have been listed, so feel free to improvise.

1/ Use absolutes like “always” and “never”. (Example: The Big Ten teams always play cupcake nonconference schedules.)

2/ Say your conference is better because it’s more fun to watch. (I fall asleep every time I watch an ACC team play, but the Big 12 is exciting week in and week out.)

3/ Pick a one-play example from several years ago and embellish it to criticize an entire conference. (There’s no freakin’ way Ohio State shoulda won the 2003 Fiesta Bowl over Miami. There was no pass interference on that one play, and it’s just like you stupid Big Ten teams to get all the breaks in big games like National Championships, just because you’re the Big Ten and you’re stupid all the time, and I’m sick of you always messing up College Football for the rest of us!!!!!!!)

4/ The most intelligent bashing is often the simplest and easiest to write. (The SEC sucks!!)

5/ When you don’t really have any solid reasoning or even an actual point, badmouth whoever is defending their conference. Better yet, mispell as many words as possible and use bad grammar. (Hey BigEastFan_123456789, your real dumb all the time and you dont even have a reel confrince because they’res no tv games after you loose the rest of you’re games this year HAHAHA!!!!!!)

6/ If you want to write something like #5 above but you don’t have much time, just use name-calling. (Hey Pac-10Fan, Your a dumby!! HAHAHA!!!!)

7/ Another simple way to conference-bash is to pick on the name of the conference itself. (Example 1: Your conference is called the WAC, and that’s why no team from your conference will ever win the National Championship. Example 2: The Big Ten has eleven teams, that’s why the Big Ten is stupid.)

8/ If you really can’t think of anything specific to bad-mouth another conference, try complimenting your own conference play. (The reason the SEC’s Win-Loss records aren’t as good as your conference’s records is because we all play each other and each one is the toughest game in the history of organized football every single week.)