Dear Vikings, he’s your problem now

Apparently, the only thing iffier than a football in Brett Favre’s hands during the playoffs is a retirement decision in his head.

The good thing is his American Hamlet act is now playing at theaters throughout Minnesota, and none east of the border.

You wanted him so badly over there? Now you have to deal with everything that comes with the entire Brett Favre package, postseason malfunctions and career vacillations included.

That’s part of it, my horned friends to the northwest. Along with 4,000 yards passing and the occasional daytrip to Lourdes, there are maintenance costs associated with managing a whole new winter season. Along with Timberwolves basketball and Twins hot stove, you’ve now got the Favre Watch, and let me tell you, it isn’t cheap.

We’re so glad it’s your problem now. Two whole football off-seasons without the related No.?4 clutter can be very liberating. Eventually, you’ll see.

Over here, we only have two comparatively trivial pieces of business to attend to, if and when your television salesman cashes his last purple-inked check.

Actually, make that one.

When will the prodigal son be allowed to come home to have his number put up on the Lambeau facade? A lot of people around here are still plenty sore at him for sticking it to the Packers with his boorish Vikings fixation, but people around here also tend to forgive and forget at a rate higher than the national average.

So let’s make it one year for each game he beat the Packers this season, which would allow the Green Bay retirement ceremony to coincide with the expiration of the Mayan calendar. Sounds like good timing.

And if Favre happens to honor his contract and play a second season with the Vikings, apply the same terms. If the Packers sweep next year, the door immediately swings open.

JSOnline.com
1/28/10