Melton Honeymoon: Part CCXLII
A news/editorial by the Fondren Free Press
May 1, 2009

That son of a bitch! I hate Melton so bad. For the last 242 weeks straight we have been exposing what a hypocritical Jackson-hater our mayor really is. I even heard he shops a Kroger instead of McDades. What a dork! I can’t believe he doesn’t support a Jackson-based company.

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Everybody knows that all of those children he and his wife have adopted and helped put through college is just a front. It is all of his master plan of him wanting to be a policeman and wear a bullet-proof vest.

Yes for the last 243 weeks, we have been exposing the lawsuits against Melton, the fact that he has tried to run the city more like a business (ugh!) and every piece of dirt that we could get someone to say. We were especially proud that the National Enquirer picked up our piece on Melton being the spawn of aliens from Gamma 9. I am sure we will win an Alternative Newspaper Award for that one!

Well, it is election time again in 2009. A Mason-Dixon poll has him ahead 94% against his challenger Enoch Sanders. We have, of course, endorsed Mr. Sanders due to his ability to “keep it real”.

Hopefully, all of these Jackson haters will change their minds, even in spite of the fact that we have better schools, lower crime rates, more jobs and a vibrant downtown (bastard!).