The following post contains sarcasm. Anyone who cannot handle that, please stop reading at this time. Any likeness to actual individuals was probably intended. This post has also been encrypted with “anti-PDF” technology. Any attempt to PDF will render the user’s computer completely devoid of sense. This post does not necessarily reflect the views of Jackson New Media, Inc., its advertisers, editors or writers.
In another MississippiPolitics.com exclusive, we have obtained exclusive audio of another clandestine meeting of Jackson’s anti-mayoral elite. Growing tired of their new crack house home being raided repeatedly by Frank Melton, the group has moved even further into the depths of Jackson. Their new home? Batman Donelson’s super secret rap studio. We have filtered out the 130 decibel base line to get you, the MP loyalists, the skinny.
Harvey Johnson (and of course, the White Shadow)
the anchorteam from WAPT
Batman: I am sorry I had to blindfold you muther f*&(^&^. I didn’t want anyone trying to get CIA up in my ass. Since Frank has been on my ass, I feel like f*&%$ Osama bin Laden. By the way, it’s good to see you, Faye. You lookin’ good.
Faye: Damn right.
Kim Wade: Ummhmm. We got to turn some caps around in here, except for you, Mr. Batman. Your caps done already been turned around, Sir. Some stuff’s got to be done did – if that’s OK with you, Mr. Batman, Sir.
Harvey: Well, let’s get to it. It is just over 1000 days to the next mayoral election in Jackson. Time to get moving. With the help of my trusty sidekick, I have just sent out a letter to every patsy, honkey Democrat begging for money to get my last campaign out of hock.
Ladd: Does that work?
White Shadow: Oh hell yes. They all feel horrendously guilty for slavery and their inability to keep their white friends from voting for Melton.
Harvey: Now, it’s Faye’s turn. Even though her inability to put away criminals basically cost me the best job I ever had, we have to support her against Frank.
Faye: Yeah, I am ready to get ghetto on his ass. I was thinking about another written statement to the press.
BATMAN: Look, I got this sh*& under control. You mutha f*&%)$ just listen. Me and my crew got a new joint.
White Shadow: Really? I knew I smelled some on the way in. That’s awesome, you know I love to get . . .
BATMAN: No fool. We cut a new track.
My mother’s crying
Fewer kids are dying
But no murderers are frying
But I’m seeing
Marshand and Harvey and Faye being
The last stand for our way of life
Drug dealing strife
And beating your wife, your ho, you know
Cappin’ some thug in the middle of the road. . .
Faye: Mr. Batman, Sir, can I get you to write my press releases?
Derek: So what next?
Ladd: Me and WAPT can get together to do another push poll in West Jackson. I already wrote the first question.
If you were stranded on a desert island, would you
1. Blame Frank Melton
2. Not not blame Frank Melton
3. Prefer that Frank Melton resign from office immediately.
Marshand: I like it!
Harvey: Just remember that I am having a bake sale next Saturday to start raising money for my campaign.
Batman: (pulls a wad of $1000 bills out of his pocket). Here’s two. You don’t have to report this do you?
White Shadow: Report what. MWHAHA HA HA
Batman: All right, y’all got to get the f&^) out of here. You all need to do a couple of hits of this angel dust so y’all don’t really remember much.
White Shadow: Kick ass! You got any more of this stuff?
Stay tuned for another exciting adventure in our continuing series.