Bill LeMonnier is an evil man. Not because he has been a football official for 35 years, the past 15 in the Big Ten. It is because he wields that collected knowledge without mercy. Each year otherwise stable men have their brains scrambled by the 100-question officials’ test LeMonnier co-authored for USA Football.
The test is the SAT of officiating — so highly regarded and deviously concocted that several major conferences require their officials to take it before getting on the field each season. My reason? It killed an afternoon in the dead of summer.
Actually, it seemed like a good idea to put my mind where my mouth is when it comes to criticizing officials. How hard could it be? A few Team As encroaching on Team Bs. Kickoffs sailing out of bounds. To replay or not to replay?
What could I lose?
Well, my dignity for one thing. A bit of pride too. Both took a blind-side hit when my final score was instantly calculated on USA Football’s website. I flunked, just so you know when you go to the site. You must take the test, by the way, because there has to be someone out there who scored worse than me: