THE WRITERS’ STRIKE ended just in time for David Stern: A year after surviving a Spurs-induced somnambulant NBA Finals and the outlaw ref Tim Donaghy, the NBA czar splurged on a DreamWorks-like script to give us a Celtics-Lakers fairy tale. It’s morning again in America. I half-expect to look outside and see Norman Rockwell mowing my lawn and gas at 29 cents a gallon.
Here is Couch Slouch’s viewing guide — somewhat tainted by a dislike at the moment of all things sporting Boston — for the series that takes us back to better, simpler days:
I’ll be honest with you — I’ve hated the Celtics since I was a kid. If you grew up in any other NBA city in the 1960s, you had no choice but to despise Celtics Green. Not only did they win every year, it seemed like they won every series in Game 7 at Boston Garden. To this day, I will not dine in any home that has any parquet flooring.
If memory serves, I don’t think any Celtic ever fouled out of any big game, AND the Celtics usually went to the foul line, like, 35 times more than their opponents, give or take.
Is Kobe Bryant better than Michael Jordan? This reminds me of the “Is Itzhak Perlman better than Isaac Stern?” debate that rages on violin talk radio nationwide. I’m partial to Kobe and Itzhak, but it’s possible I dismiss the earlier greats just because they came before I had ESPN and VH1.