We interrupt our coverage to bring you this special report.
Normally, our special reports don’t require special theme music. But this one does. I’d ask that you play the YouTube clip below while you read this. Candidly, everytime I see something written about or by Melanie Sojourner, I can’t help but think of the theme to Raising Arizona. So, indulge me.
We now enter the 32nd day of discontent from the #McGOP outpost in Kingston, MS. By now, you may have heard via the Interwebs that Melanie Sojourner is challenging Bob Dearing in the SD 37 race (docs courtesy of TaxPayers Channel), which she recently lost by 61 votes. Before we look forward, let’s take a skip down memory lane.
Dearing was targeted by Republicans in 2011. Sojourner was backed in 2011 to run against him. The “powers that be” helped her mightily (money, support, lots of behind the scenes help). She won (by about the same margin she just lost). She then proceeded to hitch her wagon to McDaniel’s Possum-express and bite every hand that ever helped her including Gov. Bryant (who she’s accused of saying “the dumbest thing I have ever heard regarding the conservative movement”), Tate Reeves, Stacey Pickering (the arch-nemesis of the Chosen One in Jones County), most of her fellow legislators and Joe Nosef. Not to mention Haley Barbour (whose likely getting some karmic satisfaction having his firm represent her opponent). Hell, she even took a shot at YallPolitics. YALLPOLITICS! All the while now, she’s crying crocodile tears about why Republicans aren’t helping her. Guess they’re just not conservative enough.
But that’s the past. Now let’s get on to the oh-so-juicy future. Her election protest will now come before the State Senate, and let me just say on behalf of the Y’allPolitics Nation . . . thank you. I am sure that Sen. Chris McDaniel will marshall all of his will and power for a thunderous speech in defense of Sojourner, liberty and against Sharia Law (or something) on the Senate floor during her challenge. Maybe they can put the Magic 8-Ball legal team and have Mitch Tyner can be special counsel. After the financial windfall that came as a result of McDaniel’s challenge, I’ll bet he’s chomping at the bit. I plan to have a gallery seat (hopefully next to Marshall Ramsey) and if Lt. Governor Reeves will allow, I’d like to play the above theme from Raising Arizona from the PA during the challenge on the senate floor.
Truthfully, it’s statistically shocking the volume of “criminal voter fraud” that follows the #McGOP around. I mean, first you had Reverend Stevie Fielder and allegations of vote buying. Then you had a couple of dozen lawsuits and challenges saying that certain folks should not be allowed to vote in Republican primaries. Of course, this was a general election. Interestingly, one of the folks alleging voter fraud on Sojourner’s behalf in her challenge admitted under oath (on p24 exhibit G) that he was complicit in allowing two people to vote after he, as the bailiff, officially announced the poll closed (though he later “regretted” it). The must have looked like Sojourner voters. Though the UCF hangers on have watched their numbers (both contributions and legislative members) dwindle to nearly nothing . . . everyone should look at the bright side. At least no one has been in this case indicted by a grand jury . . . yet. But there’s still a glorious month with which to watch the carnage unfurl. Maybe the UCF can blow out their candidate fund and offer a $1,000 bounty (it’d make for a great fundraiser!) for each and every proven allegation of voter fraud in the SD37 race.
On second thought, to hell with settling this by the rules. From the House race with Eaton/Tullos, we’ve learned all about “games of chance” and the boring result of picking a long coffee straw. Let’s spice it up. What the Senate needs to do is adopt a real game of chance to decide this Dearing/Sojourner race . . . like a possum race. You never know what those little greasy buggers will do. They can (1) stand and defiantly hiss at you (2) play dead (3) amble lazily away like a tea partier after a catfish fry or (4) can sprint like a flagger to a confederate flag rally. Now that’s a real game of chance.
The question is, do you feel lucky?
That’s the way it was – Day 32 of the Sojourner Hostage Crisis.
Good day Mississippi – and good luck.