World markets temporarily crashed today when the leader of the free world . . . the teleprompter in the White House . . . crashed onto the floor and into 1000 pieces.

“For a moment, we didn’t know what to do,” said one anonymous White House staffer. “The ONE that told us what to do . . . the teleprompter . . . just died. I mean sure, the teleprompter on the right was still working, but everyone in the West Wing know that the left teleprompter called all the shots in the Obama White House.”

The decision about whether “lefty” will be recycled or glued back together has yet to be determined.